Barney VS Kira
by violentluck
Summary: I came up with this idea while drinking Mountain Dew. What would happen if Light wanted to kill Barney? Enjoy, this hasn't been beta-ed, keep in mind. If you have twisted humor, you'll get the humor in it.


Ok so I wondered to myself when I was drinking my usual Mountain Dew, what would happen if Light met Barney the Dinosaur. Those that actually like Barney…you need mental help...that is saying a lot considering that it is coming from me….

Rated T for *think of your own reasons*

I own nothing, if I did; Barney would be dead and Light would be responsible.

Barney VS Kira

On the couch, bored as hell, Light flipped through the channels of the hotel in America. Ryuzaki had to go some place, something about his successors but Light wasn't paying any attention. Anyway, he discovered the pathetic excuse of a dinosaur, in all of his creepy purple scariness. He sat there, watching the dino dance and sing in such a matter, it would cause anyone with a sane mind to go to an insane asylum. The anger grew as he glared at the TV, the dinosaur was going to die, and he didn't care that he went to jail for it. Darting into the closet, he put on a solid black outfit, looking like an attractive ninja. Sneaking out of the building, alerting no one, he got to the crotch rocket (aka a street bike) and zoomed off. The address of the rehearsal of the show wasn't too far from where the Task Force took up residence temporally. People just stared as he raced by them, his mind on nothing except the death of the retarded dino.

He parked his bike in a dark ally, not too far from the studio. Climbing over the wall like a ninja, he is now inside the studio. Cameras and people all around the room making rather difficult to weave through people without touching someone, he thought as he attempted to move to the core of the set. There laid his destination, the set, but the dino was nowhere to be found. There was a playground in Barney colors, purple and ultimate creepiness. Light hid himself from sight, behind a pillar and waited for his target. He reached in his pockets and held up a glass razor-sharp knife, felt his back for the glass sword. Crafted completely clear, his lips composed in a wicked smile that would make little kiddes scream and run. He looked again, his heart pounding in adrenaline and anticipation of the dino to show up. A tap came upon his shoulder, but he overacted and attacked the person with the knife.

"Yo dude, Chill!" The teen assistant yipped as Light held the knife to his throat.

"Tell me where the pathetic dinosaur is!" Light growled at the pizza-faced ginger, whose face stuck in horror of what is happening.

"I don't Know!!!" The Ginger's voice laced in pure fear as he lied to Light, you can't lie to a liar….

"Don't lie to me!! WHERE IS THE DINOSAUR?" Light pressed the blade more in the Ginger's throat as he growled louder.

"He is in his dressing room…Please dude, don't kill me!" The Ginger yipped at Light. Light drew a wicked smile.

"You are not worth my time. Congrats, you get to live another worthless day." Light leaped off of him and when down the hallway of dressing rooms. At the end of the hall, hung the star that said "Barney" on the door, another smile sat on his lips. That must be the Dino's dressing room he thought. Quickly moving, he silently slid into the room. The man was already dressed and doing finishing touches on the costumes.

"Who are you?" The dino said, Light just stepped forward, not saying a word. The dino jumped to his feet, slightly scared that there is a ninja in his dressing room. Light brought out his glass knives and shot a wicked, evil smile.

"Barney, I am your judge, your jury, and your executioner. Do you have anything to say before I get to find out what color purple dinosaurs bleed?" Light said finally, the voice he went for is the type that a serial killer would use. Of course he is a serial killer which makes it even creeper. The Dino stepped forward, with a pole in his claws.

"You are not taking me down without a fight." The Dino said as he lunged at Light. Light easy dodged and made a clean cut across the arm, the blood steamed out red as an apple. Enraged, the dino took another attack but it will be his last. Light saw it coming and he beheaded the Dino's head with the sword. The blood gushed out of the stump of what was left of the horrendous dinosaur. Barney is no more, Light thought in sheer evil as he slid out of the room. He ran out of the building, in pure happiness but fear that he would get caught. Clearing the wall with no problem, he landed on the other side and raced back to the hotel. He looked down on his watch and found it to be 8 pm, prefect, L wouldn't be back yet and the rest of the task force is out drinking at a bar on the other side of town.

Reaching back to the room, he stripped out of his ninja clothes and took a long shower. By the time he got dry and hid the clothes in his secret place, L and the rest of the Force came back. L kept looking at him suspiciously.

"Is there something wrong Ryuzaki?" Light asked innocently.

"Barney the Dinosaur has been murdered in his dressing room. One witness stated that the ninja had a glass knife." Stupid Ginger….Blowing his cover…" Light, did you have fun doing it?"

"Doing what?" He had a feeling that it involved the murder but he will play it innocent.

"Killing the stupid Dinosaur. I wouldn't turn you in." Ryuzaki said, making Light confused.

"Why wouldn't you?" He asked, Ryuzaki just smiled, making Light wondering how stable L's mind is….

"I hate that pathetic excuse of a Dinosaur, if you, Kira, didn't kill him, I know someone that would." L smiled, Light just scooted away from L, for the fact that L's cheese slipped off his cracker…joy…

A/N: As you probability figured out, I hate Barney with a burning passion of my soul…So I had Light kill him. Reviews make me happy. So please send reviews and I'll make cookies that would make L proud.


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